Excuse me, Mr. Bank Manager, but I have had an account with your institution for SEVEN YEARS now. Over that time, I've kept an average monthly balance of 4 figures. I earn more than you do. I have never even bounced a check, never run an overdraft. I have never been in debt. I should have a PERFECT credit rating.
So why, oh why will you not give me a SINGLE FREAKING CREDIT CARD?!?!? Kindly take your "Qualifying Tests" and SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ARSE because I am closing my account and moving it to another bank.