Screw you and your guinea pigs

While Deputy The Man toiled away doing freelance overtime work for another publication across the office for the upteenth day, Waterloo mumbled to herself about her £200 shopping spree last week, and how she needed to get some veg for her guinea pigs, and how she must have the only guinea pigs in Britain that get their food from M&S.
Hey, it's great that you're sneaking around the south east on a Freedom Pass you're not supposed to be using when you use it and that you own your own home because you inherited some money when your Auntie Grizelda kicked it and since you have no interests you probably don't even pay for a TV license but really, nobody wants to hear about how you feed your rodents organic overpriced Channel Island veg because you can afford it while the rest of us open tins of beans for dinner.