Annoying Girl On Train

So I'm on a crowded morning Thameslink, as usual, trying to read my book about crowd dynamics, when this stroppy Fashion Girl gets on, immediately pulls out her mobile and starts GABBING away at such great volume that EVERYONE in the carriage can hear her conversation about her stupid fashiony job, how she called the police because she couldn't get the blinds of her office down, her friend's wedding, these stupid coral things that her mate at the flower market was going to get her so she could make some stupid fashiony accessories... and on and on and on at TOP VOLUME for her entire half hour train ride, disrupting everyone else on the train who was trying to read, sleep, figure out which stop to get off at, and the other usual things people on trains do.

She was so loud I could not concentrate on my book, even after I had stuck my finger in the ear nearest her.

So, she finally ends the bloody call, but as she gets off (at my stop, typical) I notice her keep her phone out and start sending a text message. Rather than waiting to climb a crowded staircase at speed behind someone who was clearly more interested in her phone than crowd movement, I cut in front of her in the crush.

She IMMEDIATELY starts going on at TOP VOLUME about how RUDE people in London are, and how it's HARD ENOUGH having to go into London (oh poor dear, getting caught in a crush at rush hour) without people being "RUDE".

I very nearly turned around, and started screaming at her "YOU KNOW WHAT I CALL RUDE?!?!? CARRYING ON A MOBILE PHONE CONVERSATION AT SUCH VOLUME THAT NO ONE ELSE IN THE CARRIAGE CAN READ, SLEEP OR EVEN HEAR THEMSELVES THINK!!!!" but I figured it would be more rude to stop the traffic up the stairs.

Freaking cow's stupid fishtail skirt was falling down, too, revealing fatass plumber's crack, as well. I should have put icecubes down in.