Bars

Okay, for real. Last night I ventured out on a Tuesday to help celebrate my darling Niece's 21st Birthday. Now, trust me, I would do and go anywhere for my girl. And now that she's 21, I"m thrilled at being able to. Of course, I feel old as shit, but fuck it, Im cute.

I don't drink, but everytime I go out, I spend most of my money on TIPPING THE GODDAMN bartenders. Is it a dollar a drink for these people? Don't they get paid anyway? Why am I giving them a dollar to open a bottle? And I'm supposed to be all impressed that you're wearing a Guns and Roses half shirt and you have ink on your lower back? That band is woefully overrated and I'm not impresses by your thong. Thanks for not telling me that what I was drinking was 5 dollars when you had $1.50 well drinks all night. I hate you. And I have to give you ANOTHER dollar? Bite me. Many times. That's why I don't drink. I prefer the smokable cocktail, yo.

Fuck blonde girls who work in bars