DVLA, you suck

I took another half day off from work to go down to bloody Wimbledon to show them my passport in person so I didn't have to put it in Royal Mail since my passport has my residency sticker in it and is my only form of identification.
And not only did he go, "Sorry, we don't exchange American driver's licenses," as though America was some kind of whacked-out place that doesn't have traffic or cars or roads and lord knows after driving the Dan Ryan every day for FIVE YEARS I certainly can't handle the B roads of Britain, thus I have to get a learner's permit and sit the exams yadda yadda, he then TOOK MY BLOODY PASSPORT *and* charged me the extra in-person premium service fee!
Why?
"We have to send it to Swansea to be checked. You'll get in back in two to three weeks."
But I came HERE to avoid doing that!
"Sorry."


* Not fucking sorry at all, actually.