Catty, you have been evicted. Please leave the Slantytown house.

We've had the same estate agent "managing" our flat for the past four years. Let's call him Cockend. He's less than useless. When we moved in, there was no cooker and the shower was half-installed. Half installed as in a big pipe sticking out of the wall and the shower attachment in its opened box on the floor. Where it sat for six months.

Mr Krabapel has been very sneaky about making payments and managed to be a month behind for a good six months. Then when we started the house-buying process six months ago, he used our rent payments to pay the solicitor. So then we were two months behind. But we were going to pay them as soon as we closed on the house and tied up all the loose ends, a situation Mr Krabapel explained to Cockend when he sent us our first set of eviction papers.

Cockend said he'd take care of it, that it would be no problem, and we went along our merry way. Until....

We now have a court date and eviction proceedings have begun. Our former flatmate is also cited on these papers despite us telling them multiple times (and in writing) that she hasn't lived in that flat for more than two years.

Mr Krabapel called him again and said he was either the world's greatest actor or something got screwed up. Today I got an email from him with the following subject line:

To: Catty
From: Mr Krabapel
Re: Cockend is a fucking liar

And there we are. I hope he rots in hell.