i want my BIKE!

I tried to participate in the bike4work plan last fall, but apparently in order to participate you have about ten minutes to decide whether you want to meet all the conditions and there's this whole red tape rigamarole to go through etc etc so I didn't get a bike.
When the plan was offered again, I got on board. I chose how much I wanted to spend and calculated the amounts and figured it was cheaper than a gym membership so I cancelled my gym membership and waited for the letter to arrive that would allow me to go down to Halfords and pick up my bike.
It hasn't arrived.
Today I called to find out where the hell my letter is because I have to pay starting this month and I wanted to actually get the damn bike before the month is over because who wants to pay for something they don't have?
Well, they never received some stupid form I'm sure I sent back if I received, assuming I received it, so no bike for me.
Sod this for a bag of fish. I'm going down to Brick Lane market and buying a hot one.