This One's For Catty

From ILX (describing the press's over-fellating of the Artic Monkeys):

"This is good old honest rock 'n'roll, which we have been lacking lately,"

And this is the recurring meme that's driving the extra-musical critic love. "At last! A band that falls into (walks into?) the categories we want to lionise: young, male, provincial, hetero, 4/4, guitars, eeh it's just like back in the 6th form again".

SO ON THE MONEY THAT THE MONEY IS GETTING A RASH AND GOING DOWN THE LOCAL GP!

People who yell "get over it" when less than TWO DAYS AGO they were once again trashing me to someone and freaking out over something which they claimed, in their "olive branch" bullshit-ass e-mail was resolved and over.

Just when I think I'm being too harsh, you just convince me that I've gone too easy on you.

May you kindly drink drain-o.

Stupid twit.

when grown adults act like children and fight at work and can't tolerate each other's differences and get the fuck over it. and then come to me and bitch about the other person and expect me to take their sides. i'm taking no one's fucking side. you're both wrong.
grow the fuck up, or go out back and kick each other's asses and get it out of your systems.

Destiny's Child

For Fuck's sake. Does anyone ELSE other than me have a problem telling them apart vocally? For real, girls, would some one PLEASE step forward and claim this group? I mean for real! There's got to be at least ONE of you who may be a little more pretty or talented. Just have the guts to come FORTH, GOD!!! Do It! Imagine your career!!! I could see you getting into movies, too. Just shine a little brighter, will you , ONE OF YOU?!?!?

You know what I'm fucking sick of?

Twentysomething indie boys and their fucking opinions. I had a sleaze around this message board loaded with Industry Fuckers That Aren't Quite Industry But You Better Believe They Know More Than You and found whatever patience I had today completely destroyed.
Later I went to iTunes to find the acoustic version of "Eddie's Song" by Son of Dork, only to discover that iTunes now offers Customer Reviews, which means I have to YET AGAIN have some Outraged Indie Boy declare stuff I like to be Crap.

in media res:

Yes another pop band pretending there [sic] the next big thing since blink182. The only people who go the there [sic] concerts are 5 year old girls and love stricken teenage girls.The less heard of SOD the better

So naturally I wasn't going to just stand by and allow that bullshit to pass without comment:

I would like to strongly encourage iTunes to rethink the "customer review" section. I do not wish to log on to download things only to be sneered at by people who do not know me. Especially when considering this particular review, in which the author shamelessly dismisses an artist based entirely on sexist preconceptions. Why is something liked by teenage girls considered a bad thing when what is liked by teenage boys recieves critical acclaim? Customer Reviews can be helpful but they quickly spiral into vile, sexist propaganda by people who either do not realise how their opinions can perpetuate problems or do not care.

GoDAMit. Fucking Outraged Indie Boys. Take your Thurston Moore/Stephen Malkmus split 7"s and ram them in the anus!

Monkeys, I tell you - MONKEYS!!!

I have been told to stop referring to the admin staff as "monkeys" because this is a vast disservice to our primate cousins, as apparently trained chimps would have done a FAR BETTER JOB on the database changeover than our staff.

What the hell, man?

A stop sign exists for a reason. You know, to keep your car from ending up as a permanent part of my ASS when I'm crossing the street. I know you have to rush to your yoga class, but please try not to splatter me all over Michigan Avenue while you do.

Thanks ever so.

The Users, God, The Users!

What part of STOP. USING. THE. OLD. ORACLE. SYSTEM. do they not understand?

Possibly the word "stop". I hadn't run an extract in over a month. During a clean-up this morning, I ran an extract for the whole month of December, thinking there would be one or two. There were THIRTY TWO new records.

What can I do to get an idea into a Database User's brain? Short of writing it on a cannonball and firing it at their thick skull?