I will never fucking understand why someone always has to turn on my computer when I'm out of the office to go into my email, when every fucking piece of email I receive or send gets cc'd or bcc'd to 5 other people, all of whom were in the office when I was out.
Just because my mail is actually ORGANIZED.

How can someone who has been making the same brand of microwave popcorn twice a day every day in the same microwave for the past 3 or 4 years STILL burn the popcorn 50% of the time so that the entire office smells of burnt butter? You should have the time down to the NANOsecond at this point.